Another week living the pandemic dream, and here we are, back at the bar trying to work our conversation around the challenge from our good neighbor to the north, Linda G. Hill. This week, for the Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, she has given us:
“Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is ‘-tion.’ Find a word that ends with ‘tion.’ Bonus points if you start your post with it. Have fun!”
For reasons of bonus-point-compliance, I’m keeping the “if we were having a beer” pleasantries out of the post.
“An-shun, is there a D Anshun here?”
“Um, Brad, that’s ‘An-ton’ and yes, I think I’m here.”
“Oh, I guess I never knew your last name, Dan.”
“Well, we’ve been on a first name or nickname basis for a long time. What’s up with calling me out. Did I win a prize?”
“Actually, Dan, you did!”
“Seriously? What…how did I win anything?”
“You filled out a survey about the service you received here last week, and your name was the one randomly drawn. By the way, you said you received excellent service – thank you very much.”
“Uh, Skippy…”
“Yes, David.”
“Last week. That would have been Cheryl providing the excellent service. Now, what did Dan win?”
“It says your, I mean his party’s first round of drinks is on the house.”
“That’s great news, because today’s my day to buy.”
“Whoa, David. I think I’ll switch weeks with you. You can pick up the next two weeks.”
“I guess that’s fair, Dan. Cheers.”
“Uh, Dan, there’s just one problem.”
“What’s that, Brad?”
“It doesn’t include John Howell’s Bourbon.”
“Fine. Next round, pour him a Four Roses.”
“Wait a minute, can’t we just take the Four Roses price off the John Howell’s?”
“I’ll have to check with Donny.”
“Do that, and make sure Dan’s imported beer is included.”
“Oh, that’s a good point. I’ll be back.”
“So, it’s your not-so-lucky lucky day, Mister Anshun.”
“Not if I have to drink Bud Light, and really, it’s Anton.”
“But why, Dan? I mean it is spelled A-N-T-I-O-N.”
“It just is. The people at Ellis Island wrote it down that way, but we’ve always pronounced it as if the ‘I’ is silent.”
“Your whole family?”
“No, our little branch of the family tree. Others pronounce it as if the ‘O’ is silent.”
“An-Tin?”
“Yes.”
“Why don’t you all get together and decide once and for all how to pronounce it?”
“Are you kidding, David? Our whole family couldn’t agree on which way is up.”
“I see. Are you in the majority with the silent ‘I’ ?”
“Who knows, and who cares? Besides, it wouldn’t matter.”
“Why not.”
“Because of people like Skippy. All through school, college and my career, everyone mispronounced my last name.”
“Do you correct them, Dan?”
“Sometimes, sometimes, it isn’t worth it.”
“I remember your telling me about your poetry professor calling you Mr. Anty-on. It seems you didn’t correct her, but if I recall, you were sucking up to her.”
“Maybe a little.”
“OK, guys, I have good news. Donny says that since you’re not just splurging because it’s free, your Corona and you John Howell’s special are on us.”
“That is good news, Skippy. Now, how about another round, and I think Dan said something about ordering wings.”
“I don’t recall saying anything about wings, David. I was thinking about having a bowl of chowder.”
“Chowder goes great with wings, Dan.”
“Skippy, that is the lamest attempt at sales I’ve ever heard, but fine. I’ll have an order of chowder. When – now pay attention – when the chowder is up, put the order in for wings.”
“No problem.”
“Five dollars says the wings and the chowder arrive at the same time, Dan.”
“I’m not taking that bet, David.”
“Come on, what’s a day at the bar without a little action?”
“I don’t bet on things as a rule, and betting on Skippy to get an order right would be a fool’s bet.”
“Can’t blame a guy for trying, Dan. I got two free glasses of bourbon and some wings, I thought I’d top it of with five bucks in my pocket.
“Not today, my friend.”
“OK guys, here are the wings, and Dan, here’s your chowder. Will there be anything else?”
“Skippy…”
“Yes David.”
“Take the ranch dressing away. Bring me a cup of blue cheese and bring Dan a cup of Parmesan peppercorn.”
“No problem.”
“That’s it.”
“What’s it, Dan?”
“From now on, he’s Skippy to me.”
“Welcome aboard my young friend.”
